When you want a pet and don’t get one, you name stuff.  In my case, I decided to make a walnut a pet, and named it Wilma.

There was also a balloon named Bert.  If you know anything about balloons you know that they are fine for a while and can, in lieu of a pet, make a nice companion.   But in time, they ever slowly start to lose life.  Until there is nothing left but a limp, lifeless, empty balloon.    So I did what anyone would do when a pet dies.  You give it a proper send off.

If you’re wondering what happens to a balloon after 30 years, it becomes hard and brittle.

Of course my kid wants a dog but there is no dog in our family’s future.  But he seems happy just to name fish. RIP Julian.  Long live Beckham.

Bert – you were a good balloon.